Woke up really early today and with a stiff neck to par, i sat down on my bed and get myself a pen and paper.
Warning: this post is personal and long. XD
~
As a kid, I wanted to do a lot of things. I participate on various stuffs in school and back in high school all I know is that I wanted to create things. Art has been my passion ever since. I'm into drawing, painting and fashion wide I knew I always wanted to look different. During my last year and graduation was past approaching I asked my parents for advice on what course to take on college. I wanted to take Fine Arts but I ended up taking Nursing. Why? because my parents said so. At 15 years old I never knew I could say no. That I could do that without disrespecting my elders. I kind of envy the kids these days. Being exposed to mass media and tons of ideas. They already have a glimpse of what they really wanted. For almost 5 years (including exam review) I was immersed to big books, patients stories, anatomy, all white uniform, the smell of hospital disinfectants, more books. Don't get me wrong Nursing is a wonderful profession, just that it wasn't for me.
Though I knew I could do it and it's funny at times when my family reassure me with "Nursing is a good choice, right?' or "You'll like it in time." Well, eventually I liked studying it considering the amount of stuffs you learn. I grew up a bit of a 'grade freak'
I know nerdy much I did study hard and came to like it because I got used to it. I was once get to the dean's list, topped exams, group leader, class tutor. I rarely had problems with my grades. I graduated and passed the board with a good score. I told myself, I guess my 'obligation' is finally done - finish college for mom. Was I happy? not much.
Call me a Grinch but I was not the happiest person during graduation. Asked myself, "what have I been doing tfor the passed years? I talked to my mom seriously that I'm finishing this for her. When I'm done with her dream, I'll start mine.
The actual notebook where I wrote this journal post
Well, I tried looking for a job related to my course. but in all fairness It was hard. Paying others to get experience is bull. I even opted for non-hospital base ones like government positions in Dept. of Health. But I failed, I guess I lack the 'determination. Parents, pushing your children to something what 'you' want if not always helpful sometimes it's irrelevant and stupid. I love my mom but I guess it's time for me to stand up for myself. The closest job I got is being a Medical Rep. It's tiring, pressuring you for sales, non-skin friendly, and tiring, oh did I mention tiring. I didn't last long, I gave in after 6 months. after that I had another day job that has now completely no connection with my course. But it was stable enough to support me and my family's financial needs so I stick in.
Having a good paying job didn't stop me to find for my happiness. Thanks to internet that gave me enlightenment. I knew exactly what I want and makes me happy all along.
Fashion.
It is something innate to me. Something that I have been doing since forever. I knew I was unique and I'm proud of it. For me- Fashion should be inspiring, not copied.
I wanted to be a stylist, I want my own name. I took that chance and enrolled myself to a fashion school using my savings. Being exposed to the real dead was euphoric. I knew this is where I belong by being true to myself and doing what I do best. To create beautiful masterpieces.
Now I'm working freelance as a Fashion Stylist but I know I won't stop there. I want to design, have my own line,write and teach fashion.
At 24 years old, I'm on my way to a colorful journey. It was never too late to chase for something you really love. Keep walking, don't rush. See ya at the finish line ^^
~
Thank you for reading my ramblings. It was 6am when I wrote this and I'm glad I could share a more personal side of me. I hope to inspire.
